This came in a WhatsApp forward and felt relevant
A few days ago, I read an article by Dr. S. C. Sung, a neurologist in Chiayi. It was a list of 22 reminders he wrote about how his family should treat him if he developed dementia in the future. The article touched me deeply. Dr. Sung has been treating dementia patients for years; he understands their pain and condition very well. Therefore, he wrote to his family in the light of his professional experience how to approach him if he ever reaches the stage of memory loss.
This article was widely circulated on the Internet. Many people said that they were moved to tears after reading it. But I think this is what really touches people — it teaches us how to lovingly treat someone who is “still alive, but slowly returning to the innocence of childhood.” If everyone reads this at least once, I think we would be a little gentler with our parents, our spouses, and each other.
Below is Dr. The full article (22 suggestions) by Sung is provided. This is a note to read carefully.
Dr. S. C. Sung: If I get dementia one day
My dear family members,
If I get dementia one day, please hang this message on the wall of my room. I hope that seeing it while I can still understand it will give me peace. On the day I can no longer understand it, it will become a way for you to love me.
1. Every time you come into the room, first call me by my name and tell me who you are. Otherwise, I may first ask: “Hello, who am I?” Please do not ask, “Do you know who I am?” I may not really know; that will scare me.
2. If I feel like I am living in another time, do not try to bring me back to reality too quickly. Stay with me in that world for a while. Maybe I will be happy there.
3. If I say I'm going to an old friend's house for dinner, or if I talk about a deceased relative, please smile and accept it as if it were true.
4. Don't argue with me. In that situation, I can't tell whether what you're saying is true or what I'm remembering is true. Let me win with love.
5. If I don't recognize you, please don't be hurt. It doesn't mean I don't love you; it just means my mind is confused.
6. If I forget to use a spoon, don't rush to feed me right away. Please tie me a bib (apron) and give me a chance to try eating with my hands.
7. If you see me sitting anxiously or sadly, please hold my hand. Don't say, "Don't think so much," but sit with me calmly.
8. Please don't treat me like a child. Even though I've lost my language and understanding, my mind is still that of an adult.
9. Allow me to continue doing the things I love.
10. Even if you have heard my story many times, it may be the only story I still remember.
11. If I suddenly lose control of my emotions, don't blame me. Instead, try to understand why I am upset.
12. Treat me the way you would like others to treat you.
13. Always keep some snacks at home.
14. When you talk about me, look me in the face and speak, not as if I were not there.
15. If you can't look at me the whole time, don't blame yourself for it.
16. If I have to be admitted to a nursing home, please don't forget to come see me.
17. Please be patient if I call names wrong or forget things.
18. Let me listen to music.
19 If I like to carry things around, put them back in their place later.
20. Allow me to maintain my beliefs and customs as much as possible.
21. Don't hesitate to hold me and hold my hand.
22. Most importantly: Please remember, I am still me. I am not the person you remember, but I am the same person you loved.
